Posted by: howvoicebegan | 23/05/2011

No Shadow with Forgiveness

Sometimes it’s nice to look back and reflect on a relationship, marking the way it has evolved over the years. Recently one of my relationships in South Africa has been on my mind, and I’ve seen a beautiful transformation.

The relationship started out well enough and developed into a great friendship. Unfortunately, along the way, this person deeply hurt me. It was so traumatic that I nearly left everything behind in South Africa to come back to the States and start a fresh life, far away from the terrible wounding that was caused.
Through some reconciliation, everything was talked through, and it was healed. At least, it was healed superficially. Whenever I saw them, hurt and anger welled up inside of me. I used to talk to them daily, but I had reached a point where I couldn’t even acknowledge their existence when I passed by them. I told myself repeatedly that I had forgiven them, but I always came back questioning myself, “Have I really?” How could I have forgiven in my heart if I still feel the past?

But one day, it just happened. I missed the past relationship and often thought about it, pondering past conversations, smiling at jokes and funny times. As much as I just wanted everything to go back to normal, I just couldn’t approach it.
So instead, he approached me. Timidly, humbly, and with a small request, he came to me and spoke briefly. But, it was more than I needed to finish the healing and forgiving process. My heart soared, I smiled, and I wanted to give him a big hug to mend the past months, forget it, and have what I missed.

The shadow lingers

That’s when I knew I had forgiven him. That’s when I knew what forgiveness– deep forgiveness for a deep pain– really felt like. There is no shadow that allows for clinging to ungodly and unfruitful emotions. Forgiveness rises as the noonday sun that leaves not a trace of darkness to allow for those things to trail us in a dark shadow, reminding us of the past every time we look over our shoulder.

There is no shadow of turning with Thee….

My friend and I are past the long shadows of the early morning aftermath of a dark night in our relationship. It’s now noon; the morning shadows are gone.

Forgetting what is behind me and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal… (Philippians 3:13-14)

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Responses

  1. Very beautiful and true words. Forgiving, really doing it can be so freeing.


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